


this is halloween

by 6woojin



Category: GOT7
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, jaebum is a Bad Boy TM..... someone stop him from being so unnecessarily angsty, jjp, lapslock, split up into 3 lil parts that get progressively longer :'))
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 08:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8437759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6woojin/pseuds/6woojin
Summary: they meet on halloween, and even with all of their costumes and embarrassment, they fall in love.





	

when they first meet, jaebum is a mummy and jinyoung is a sorcerer (it’s cooler than a wizard, even if jinyoung can’t pronounce it quite right.)

they’re still only just in primary school, but they’ve both been told they’re mature for their age, so the teachers set them together and ask them to get to know each other.

jaebum smiles through his costume (which is literally falling apart as they speak), and he looks a little shy when he tells jinyoung, “i like your magic hat.”

and even though jinyoung’s instinct is to scowl, the other boy isn‘t quite wrong, so he swallows down his distaste and tries to smile back.

“i’m a sorcerer,” he explains, puffing out his chest when jaebum looks at him in awe, “i’m like a cooler wizard.”

“cooler than a wizard?” jaebum breathes out, looking positively reverent. jinyoung feels on top of the world when he nods in return, jaebum doing nothing but gape at him. “that’s so cool.” jaebum murmurs, and jinyoung’s grin only widens.

they don’t say much else; jinyoung is too busy watching the other kids run around, and jaebum is too awkward to know what else to say.

still, for a pair of ten year olds, they get along well enough, so none of the teachers bother them or try and force them apart.

when it’s finally time to start going home and everyone’s supposed to help clean up, jaebum stands and looks at jinyoung with a shy, lopsided smile. he holds out a hand, small as it is, and for some reason, jinyoung takes it.

they help pick up trash and rearrange chairs, but for the entire night, they don’t let go of the other’s hand.

 

jaebum ends up moving; it’s not too far, but it means that he goes to a different school, so they don’t see each other much. still, it only takes a few accidental meetings by coffee shops and outside bookstores before they try and spark something, fingers tangling in the way only kids can get away with.

they’re friends, jinyoung realizes one day, his book in jaebum’s lap and the other boy’s hands in his hair. they’re best friends, closer than jinyoung had realized, and he doesn’t mind it as much as he thought he might.

“something wrong?” jaebum whispers, voice warm and kind. it’s a sharp contrast to the anger at his fingertips when they’re outside or when they’re at school, but for now they’re home and they’re alone and for jinyoung, jaebum is always like this.

“just thinking about halloween,” jinyoung lies, “since i still haven’t chosen someone to dress up as.”

“you could be a sorcerer.” jaebum teases, moving to force jinyoung’s book to the side and his head on jaebum’s lap. jinyoung laughs, breathless, and decides he’s really glad he met jaebum.

“shut up.” he says softly, but he’s grinning from ear to ear, drowning in a sudden sense of religion because if god isn’t real, then angels can’t be either. (and if angels aren’t real, then what is jaebum supposed to be?)

“we could match,” jaebum continues on, smirking as jinyoung grumbles complaints under his breath, “do something cute together, i don’t know.” there’s another pause, one that jinyoung knows to leave alone because jaebum grins and looks at him with bright eyes that he can never deny, “i’ll be sesshomaru, and you can be rin.”

“oh my god.” jinyoung grumbles, scrambling to move away. he can already feel his face heating up, but jaebum pulls him back to his lap and grins.

“jinyoung-ah.” jaebum says, and jinyoung’s resolve is a shattered mess at the foot of the bed.

“i’m not wearing a wig, and i’m not letting anyone see me.” jinyoung decides, but he knows that if jaebum insisted, he’d do it all anyways. the older boy only laughs in response, running a hand through jinyoung’s hair and nodding along. jinyoung tries to pout, tries to keep at least part of his stubbornness in check, but he ends up just settling on curling against jaebum’s side and complaining against his skin.

jaebum laughs more, and jinyoung feels like he’s floating.

of course, as fate would have it, they don’t even end up going out.

instead, they spend the entire night locked up in jaebum’s room, cigarette smoke clinging to the hem of jinyoung’s sleeves and on the tip of his tongue.

jaebum sits on the windowsill, the picture of something unbelievably beautiful (and unattainable), moonlight curving along his figure and smoke pressing kisses to his lips, his cheeks, his hands.

jinyoung very, very briefly wonders what it would be like if it were him reaching out to jaebum with gentle touches instead of the tobacco.

the room is silent, every distant noise hazy and dull, like they’re underwater and so, so desperate to drown. jaebum smiles at him, careful and careless all at once in the way only jaebum can get away with, and jinyoung knows he would drown every day if it meant jaebum could smile at him like that.

“i’m dropping out of high school.” jaebum says slowly, voice rough on the edges like it hasn’t been in ages. jinyoung looks up, confused and sure that the alcohol is just messing with his head, because he could’ve sworn jaebum had just said-

“i’m going to move into my own apartment and get a job and everything.” jaebum continues, steady in a way only practice can provide. “i’m starting over, i guess.”

“oh.” jinyoung blinks. his mind still feels heavy and sluggish, a sort of tired panic pressing against his bones. he feels ready to crumble, but all jaebum does is take another drag of his cigarette and look out the window, smile soft. there’s a coldness to it now, like someone had just dumped ice into their lake, and jaebum is used to it. (jinyoung isn’t- he’s not used to any of it, isn’t even used to jaebum, but he’s torn between leaving or holding his breath.)

he doesn’t want jaebum to move on if it means moving on from him, from them, but for all he knows, jaebum is moving on  _ for _ them.

or, for all he knows, the only reason jaebum is moving on at all is to move on from them.

“yeah.” jaebum hums, a few beats too late in their conversation. they don’t talk about it, and jinyoung can feel his worries bubbling up in his head. he wills them to stop, but all he gets is a ripple.

“yeah.” jinyoung echoes, helpless. every breath is little more than another mouthful of water, freezing in his chest and in his lungs.

they don’t say much else save for the occasional comment on the weather and the neighbors and the smoke, and for that, jinyoung is glad.

his chest is all-too tight, something he can’t even blame on his costume, but he swallows it done and pretends jaebum doesn’t make it harder for him to breathe.

 

at some point, they change, and they’re not quite friends anymore; they still get along, still know each other more than anyone else ever would, but they’re not  _ friends _ . there’s a depth to the two of them that can’t be found in closeness, and jinyoung doesn’t know what to think.

jaebum doesn’t dress up that year, and when jinyoung invites him to jackson’s friend’s girlfriend’s halloween party, the only thing he gets in response is a shrug and “i’ll think about it”. (it means no, jinyoung knows as much, but he can’t help but hope anyways.)

jinyoung spends half his evening watching his friends get high off of smoke and adrenaline, sitting in the lumpy couch in the corner and tugging aimlessly at his outfit. (jackson had insisted they dress up as power rangers, along with a few other of their mutuals friends. yikes.)

jackson throws himself across jinyoung’s lap, grinning up at him with unsteady eyes and unsteady hands, and jinyoung rolls his eyes.

“jackson, get off,” he sighs, pushing halfheartedly at jackson’s wriggling form, “you’re too heavy.”

jackson only pokes jinyoung’s cheek in response, a bit too forceful and a bit too sweet, but jinyoung smiles a little anyways.

“don’t be too sad,” jackson huffs, and there’s something lingering on his tongue that makes jinyoung’s stomach twist, “i just want you to smile. you don’t smile as much when jaebum hyung isn’t around.”

immediately, jinyoung’s face falls- it’s a reaction he’d stop if he could, but it’d be as useless as telling him  _ not _ to smile when jaebum comes nearby.

“hey,” jackson snaps, and jinyoung forces himself to refocus on his friend, “stop moping and go drag jaebum’s head out of his ass.” jinyoung snorts, shaking his head in disagreement and amusement.

“it doesn’t work like that,” someone’s pushing a bottle into his hand as jinyoung moves to help jackson stand, “i can’t just go over and try to talk to him.”

“why not?” jackson challenges. he says it like it’s obvious, like there’s nothing actually stopping jinyoung; it’s completely off, but in jackson’s eyes, it’s true. (jinyoung wishes he saw what his friend did.) “park jinyoung,” jackson announces, loud and slurred, “do not let some dumb boy with dumb angst stop you from being happy.”

for some strange reason (probably not helped by the haziness of his lungs and the alcohol someone mixed into his water), jackson’s words settle against jinyoung’s ribs, sharp and jolting, and he moves abruptly, desperate to get out and do  _ something _ .

he hears jackson cheering as he makes his way out the door, shoes forced onto his feet and coat wrapped haphazardly around his arms.

it’s when jinyoung is halfway to jaebum’s apartment that it occurs to him that he has no idea what he’s doing; every step is another proof of the thoughtless spontaneity coursing through his blood.

it’s when he’s halfway up jaebum’s doorstep that he decides that he doesn’t even care; he’s spent too many hours wishing and wondering and waiting for jaebum to come back, all while jaebum does nothing but drift further and further away.

he knocks on the door, hard.

it opens a few moments later, jaebum peering out tiredly from around the door, bags under his eyes and bruises along his jaw. it shouldn’t make jinyoung’s breath stop like it does, but.

“jinyoung-ah.” jaebum says, and even with all of the rough edges of his face and his heart, there’s a softness in the way he says jinyoung’s name that he hopes never fades. it probably helps that jinyoung is still wearing his stupid power rangers outfit, but.

“hyung.” jinyoung says, every complaint and accusation he had scratched into his skin fading away, leaving nothing but old marks and cuts. he feels warm inside and out, softer than he’d remembered he could be.

they don’t say anything for a second, simply standing and existing, not worrying about if the quiet is awkward or the space between them too much or not enough.

“why don’t you come in?” jaebum offers, but he says it like jinyoung would be doing him a favor, like there’s nothing he wants more.

jinyoung steps in, footsteps too loud in the quiet of jaebum’s home; the older boy moves to the kitchen, silent but careless (as is everything else he does), only to emerge with a cup of hot chocolate. he holds it out to jinyoung, something gentle tugging at his lips, and jinyoung’s heart  _ hurts _ .

“we need to talk.” he says, using a gentle hand to push the cup back to jaebum and against his chest. he doesn’t want to risk damaging this thing between them, not when they’re both clearly guarding it so carefully, but there’s a voice nagging at the back of his head and tying him down with worries.

jaebum puts the cup on the counter, eyes stormy and harsh in a way that jinyoung had never seen directed at him.

it was always comforting, when jinyoung had watched every wave of jaebum’s anger crash onto someone else, but now that he’s in the blast zone, he’s starting to realize how awful it feels.

“you’re my best friend.” jaebum says, and the ocean in his eyes pulls back. (jinyoung can’t tell if it’s receding for good, or if maybe it’s only moving so it can lash out even further. he inches back and only prays jaebum can’t see the fear in his own eyes.) “i don’t want to lose that.”

jinyoung nods, makes a noise of understanding, but in all honesty, he had never known that, never even considered as much. to be considered jaebum’s friend at all is enough of a shock; jinyoung thought he had lost the title months ago, somewhere between jaebum dropping out of high school and- and some point afterwards, jinyoung supposes, because they’d just lost touch with no end in sight.

“you’re my best friend, too.” jinyoung tries to smile, tries to pretend like maybe this is a lie and they’re both too messed up, but only half of it is true.

(jaebum had always been his best friend, and jinyoung doubts that’d ever change.)

“i don’t want to lose you.” jaebum’s voice is lower, warmer, and it makes jinyoung’s toes curl and his fingers twist a little deeper in his pockets.

“i don’t want to lose you, either.” he says. it’s starting to feel like a challenge, where they take turns pushing each other’s heads underwater and seeing who’ll break first.

“okay.” jaebum agrees, and then he’s leaning forward. he stops halfway, always so, so careful, and jinyoung doesn’t even realize he’s moving closer until jaebum is grinning against his lips, happy and electrified.

“okay,” jinyoung whispers when he pulls back, “but we actually need to talk.” jaebum frowns a little at that, the waves stirring up a little bit more; jinyoung can’t help but reach out and smooth the crease between the older boy’s eyebrows, push away the worry on his features. “i want to know what’s going on between us.” jaebum takes a deep breath, and he’s so, so close that jinyoung can smell the mint on his tongue and the smoke on his own. he would feel self-conscious if it weren’t for jaebum’s hands on his back, tugging him closer, holding him tighter.

“i care about you a lot,” jaebum admits against jinyoung’s shoulder, “and i’d really like to date you and kiss you and take care of you and act more like a best friend should, if you’ll let me.”

jinyoung smiles a little, and even though it’s shy and scared, he feels warm under jaebum’s touch.

“i’ll always let you.” he says quietly. “as long as you want to, i’ll always let you.” there are insecurities bleeding from his words, dripping from each syllable heavy and thick, and he can only hope it doesn’t splatter too much on jaebum.

“i’ll always want to.” jaebum says immediately, and despite the fierceness in his eyes, he’s smiling too, bright and beautiful as jinyoung always remembered.

“alright.” jinyoung buries his face into the crook of jaebum’s neck, safe and warm in jaebum’s arms, and even with his ridiculous costume, nothing has ever felt more real.

**Author's Note:**

> yiKES this is completely unbeta-d but !!! i hope u all like it !!!!! (i'll try and read through it when i get the chance, but for now, here it is in all its drafted glory.)  
> i rlly hope u guys liked this bc ?? i wrote it so so quickly ????  
> anYWAYS as per usual, kudos r great, bookmarks r awesome, and comments r the things that keep me going :'))  
> feel free to hmu on tumblr @y-ug or twitter @phigyeom !!!!!  
> thank u again for reading,, ure amazing n i hope u have an amazing day <333


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